The inescapable - a Georgi Jose point of view in 2005

Link to original piece in a newspaper in Bahrain from 2005

http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/NewsDetails.aspx?storyid=111866

The Inescapable   Posted on » Friday, May 13, 2005

The clock strikes; It's time Wait! Can I get a couple of minutes more? I guess not, your time is up, You prayed, I heard. But come on, pack up Oh Lord, there is some unfinished business, I see, A couple of minutes, an hour at most, to cherish those people who mean the most to me. "I want to kiss, I want to hold, My kids, my wife, my niece, My dog, my nephew, The list is endless you see" "O mortal, I pity your strings, your attachments, your incessant yearning for 'love'. You have no schedule, nor any sure idea, You neither decide your time of birth and have no say in the time you die. You are bound to this realm by bonds that you bequeath to your own. You stop one breath short and flash my name To your rescue I should swoon. I have a job, both dirty and tough, But someone's gotta get it done, I have my team, when I come to recruit more, like you they ask me for time. Sorry to interrupt but this time I could have stolen a life, My memories you trample, mean so much to me. my kids, my wife. Oh! I dare ask you again: Can I borrow a couple of minutes from my time. I see the light, I know my time's here I awaited this moment for all day long. I couldn't fathom, it would be here, not now, It would bring my life to stop now. NO time wasted, I gave you a life for that, I would have stretched your longevity, But there are other deserving souls Who need to join me. So come child, come now Unto you the next life I bestow, Let me tell you about it, While you leave your skin on the earth below. Tomorrow, they'll find you pale and hearty, They'll grieve, they'll shriek, they'll cry, But when they realise your destination, They'll succumb to the answer to why. So come child, come now, You have a long journey ahead of you, You may make it, you may not, I guess the one thing you learnt with your last journey was, I reap as I sow" So I guess no extra time, no more innings, It's now, this time, this frame, You are going to be a part of the bigger picture and then be reduced to a name.  - Georgi Jose

RETROSPECTIVE 2011

Hmmmm........in almost random order.......

Celebrated New years on a High note ( at floor 122 of Burj Khalifa ( world's tallest)......
Got an Ipad........
Nestled at the shangri-la in ever gorgeous Muscat....
Saw the Social Media revolution ..aka bahrain, egypt, tunisia etc.
took my folks to see dubai for an all expense paid vacation....
Got 'her' sucked into the corporate vortex of design.....
Saw barcelona in a side car....
Had 10 days of tapas and Ham, hence craved desi ness...
Saw Flamenco at valencia....
smelled paella at sevilla....
Saw the geni-ii of Gaudi and calatrava up close and personal....
Visited world's best bar at Madrid......
Improved Sign-language skills while in Spain........
Maintained sedative levels for Sumam.....
Flew business with a free upgrade.......
Did that ever pending group trip.even if it was only to Dubai....
Witnessed A R Rahman unplugged.....
Acquired new motor skills on my PS-3
Saw the exchange rate and Gold flirt with my wallet.....
Some Strategic Decisions played out according to plan.......
Got a bed and pillows that matter....
Saw MI -4 yesterday - (only matters cuz seeing someone jump off a building you know is rare.........)
wondered how so many greats died in the same year - MF Hussain, Steve jobs, shammi Kapoor, Jagjit Singh
Added some more people on the interesting schmuks aka friends list....
Learnt more about money.........
& Remain married to a beautiful woman......


Overall a good year.....
Thank you God for 2011........Bring it on 2012......Let's wrestle it out.

Penned on a lenovo keyboard parked on an office desktop in Manama on This day - 19th Of December, 2011.
note to self:
1) review  location of desktop.......
2) see tamer @ lebanon.......

Headlines.............maybe too emphatic...just lines from my head

These are lines i actually have written back in the day .

Compiling some of those lines, that slipped through my head via the keyboard.....

In case you haven't' notices the incessant  references to planet G, G, god.....are all hype for the narcissism that lurks freely around the world as we speak.

2005

1) It has come to the notice of the owners of Planet G, that you enjoy indulging in frivolous conversation with very charming,and insanity charged cyber stalkers. At Planet G we try to provide a wholesome under-development of pituitary gland.

2) High livving no thinking- straight opposite of Gandhi

2006  

3) We at planet G, hyped up the concept of God 1.1, and then we introduced regional flavours like allah, Ram, Jesus etc. 

4) Lose an eye, lose a hand,
Lose everythin u signatured on,
But if u lose hope my darling,
The battle hasn't commenced at all

2007

5) Planet G............a wholesome entertainment venture that supplies energy to most of the Gobar Gas/bio gas plants in Netherlands, tunisia and west liberia. I'm sure most you dumb asses dont even know where these places are, which Is why i safely  publicized operations there!!!! 

2008

6) Christmas is  a Blessed Season of Love and Birth(ok u teenage girls and overcommitted lovers should not get other ideas)

2009 

7) Dude Don't sell ur car - RENT IT out as  service apartment......- u know - leather seats, music system, views on all 4 sides, 24 hours petrol and washer fluid, great proximity to all amenities - Depending on where u are parked.

8) what else - o i bought a ferrari - sold off my ranch in nevada for 12 million more than what i bought it for and taught monica belluci how to kiss better - other than that Sumam gave john abraham tips on hair care .

2010

9) So i figured,before I stare Normalcy in the face , by getting back to work , everyday life...........i wanted to touch base with you and find out how you were getting along. We may not talk much , but because of social evils such as facebook I can stalk you, in the guise of a friend.............(Georgi lets out his evil sinister yawn!!!!!!!).

2011

10 ) Scary that there is more to come eh.................... 

Thankappan - Ek Bar aaja aaja

Grammy award nominee – Thankappan’s response on winning a grammy.

Reporter: Mr thankappan, how does it feel?

Thankappan : ONE

Reporter: sorry what?

Thankappan : ek bar

Reporter: ek bar what?

Thankappan : ek bar aaja ajaa

Reporter: sir did himesh steal that from you?

Thankappan: who’s himesh. I know only Jitesh.- my unGle’s AAnty’s cussin.

Reporter: As a MAL, how do you know so many languages

Thankappan: Learnt English from drinking English whisky and hindi from drinking desi tharra. Bar’s have taught me a lot. In fact my first poem was……..

Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,

Can u point me to the closest bar,

Up above that hill so high,

There’s a shack called Mai-tai.

Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,

Do you think they will take my card

After you drink, make sure they swipe

Or your candy ass will be used to wipe.

Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,

Any parting words at last?

Holidays ending, work’s not far

So  please don’t; misbehave at the bar

-          BEV. Da ( pen name for thankappan )

Ps: Guys, I just read this and seriously wonder how you reached till here without pressing the go back button on your browser. This is atrocious. If I were you I would report me to the cops or send me money? Choose.!!!! Season’s greetings…….hic!!! 

(c) Georgi Jose

The Daily G - October 2010

Georgi Jose, 30, loves the good life : 8 layer 600 count luxury hotel beds, rooftop chill out sessions, quests to find the horizon, travelling empty handed and getting his wife to do the same. His grotesque views on life have disgusted his fans as much as creating the maximum number of hits. Considered by many as the first online hangover remedy, the blog , website and horrendous pictures assure the first 64 words will amuse, confuse or defuse you as the case may be.( Note : photo withheld at request of parents and wife)

Fortunately, Being Indian and being grounded in Bahrain , have allowed copyright infringements, laundering, piracy to be mixed into his otherwise boring life. Rejected by the underworld for being too organized and ostracized by the architecture fraternity for convincing clients that building buildings was ruining the environment and affecting their fertility, Georgi has procrastinated on his plans for global domination and is now learning to find contentment and content in his run-of-the-mill-boring-5000cr –dream company.

His latest book “armchair entrepreneurs”- written by hand and binded with rice paste may be the world’s first organic book but is being recalled due to widespread . misuse

Our source at toiletpaper.com has found that the first 1 million sale was swift as owned up by a leading toilet tissue paper distributor, who claimed, that since most books were unread and illegible, the paper could be quickly reused after final touches such as eraser editing by exploited child labour in Myanmar. ( Editor’s note - Our correspondent was brutally assaulted for exposing himself during this story. His vocabulary of 8 words and rare psycho dyslexic condition is under investigation)

Our 400 page interview which actually only had 5 questions is being published in parts :

An excerpt on “ G’s must-not-leave-home-without – lest-I-have-to-drive back-55 kms accessories ( that bear his fingerprints) “ are

B****berry – G has adopted a B****berry into this family.To appear busy, organized , geeky and give out the humanitarian image. The 6 months old relationship is still going strong and has not succumbed to the racial profiling- such as B****berry and the White B****berry campaign.

Pathan Phone – This latest version of the P-phone is a relic designed by georgi in collaboration with Formula 1 greats, such as Michael, rauf, messi – All whose tyres may have ran over the P=phone in its good old avatar as a sony ericsson at the Bahrain F1 track in 2008. The phone’s appearance , battery life, reception and all main facilities suck, but he believes t helps to get noticed.

House Keys – His fear of parents secretly leaving the country in his absence or changing their identities dawned on him in childhood. Hence the efferevescent need to have keys.

Credit Card – He has 4 friends at Citibank right from the asst Tea Boy to CTO. …..Chief Tea Organiser. They supply him with compromised cards, hence the need to appear flashy and sport a different name and look every time he steps out. His latest credit card named Nrayanan Dawood Anthony – is blocked.

His infra red weighing scale – Helps to scan for obese people in a room, so he can out with them in order to look thinner.

Wedding Ring – reminds him of his beautiful wedding day and all the happiness , love and money his wife gave up to be with him. Her book-Marria_G-e is a best seller with newly weds and divorce lawyers, who believes the 2 year wedding chronicles is a brilliant work of fiction. . The CIA has launched a covert operation to rescue her from the organized syndicate only known as the MALS.

SBI Club Card- His SBI – Sanity-Becho-Idhar privilege voucher allows him a free pizza after every 10 visits to his alma mater, Mukkolakkal sanitorium.

***As a bonus for all our (3) readers - This original merchandise is now available for sale at limited counters at the uber-exclusive TALIBAN(K) store outlets at Afghanistan, Yemen ,Iraq and Washington DC. First 2 purchases will receive free copies of the Jihad for dummies handbook.

Credits -

Author: Georgi Jose
Interviewer : Georgi jose ( The alter ego of georgi Jose)
Editor – G
Photography – G
Makeup – o shit – forgot…next time.

Please note: The term (penile)erection is often referred to as wood. In the interest of the environment, Would you want to cut your penis everytime you had to print. Save the environment- Don’ print this. In fact don’t’ even circulate it, unless requested by judiciary for evidence or by coronary for cause of death.