Monday, December 19, 2011

RETROSPECTIVE 2011


Hmmmm........in almost random order.......

Celebrated New years on a High note ( at floor 122 of Burj Khalifa ( world's tallest)......
Got an Ipad........
Nestled at the shangri-la in ever gorgeous Muscat....
Saw the Social Media revolution ..aka bahrain, egypt, tunisia etc.
took my folks to see dubai for an all expense paid vacation....
Got 'her' sucked into the corporate vortex of design.....
Saw barcelona in a side car....
Had 10 days of tapas and Ham, hence craved desi ness...
Saw Flamenco at valencia....
smelled paella at sevilla....
Saw the geni-ii of Gaudi and calatrava up close and personal....
Visited world's best bar at Madrid......
Improved Sign-language skills while in Spain........
Maintained sedative levels for Sumam.....
Flew business with a free upgrade.......
Did that ever pending group trip.even if it was only to Dubai....
Witnessed A R Rahman unplugged.....
Acquired new motor skills on my PS-3
Saw the exchange rate and Gold flirt with my wallet.....
Some Strategic Decisions played out according to plan.......
Got a bed and pillows that matter....
Saw MI -4 yesterday - (only matters cuz seeing someone jump off a building you know is rare.........)
wondered how so many greats died in the same year - MF Hussain, Steve jobs, shammi Kapoor, Jagjit Singh
Added some more people on the interesting schmuks aka friends list....
Learnt more about money.........
& Remain married to a beautiful woman......


Overall a good year.....
Thank you God for 2011........Bring it on 2012......Let's wrestle it out.

Penned on a lenovo keyboard parked on an office desktop in Manama on This day - 19th Of December, 2011.
note to self:
1) review  location of desktop.......
2) see tamer @ lebanon.......

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Note to Self : Twitter Revolution 2011

Note to Self: 
This is a  reminder in the sands of time about the  "Twitter Revolution of Twenty Eleven" . 
I am not going to elucidate details but I was in Bahrain when it all began on Feb 14, 2011.


Ideologies of democracy, monarchy, gandhianism , constitution, rights come to the forefront to be dissected by people, media for their own agenda - right or wrong.


Makes you look back at all the freedom fighters of India and how they led our Independance Struggle till 1947- in a pre-twitter era.  The revolution in technology (pun intended) is now authored as the Technology of Revolution.




G






Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas + Joyous 2011

Dear Reader (s)

Here’s wishing you a Holy’ Christmas  and a very ‘sinful’ NEW YEAR
Ps: the picture might make your think it’s a scary Christmas instead of merry Christmas….well I did warn you. ….view at your own risk!!!!




Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Headlines.............maybe too emphatic...just lines from my head

These are lines i actually have written back in the day .
Compiling some of those lines, that slipped through my head via the keyboard.....
In case you haven't' notices the incessant  references to planet G, G, god.....are all hype for the narcissism that lurks freely around the world as we speak.



2005
1) It has come to the notice of the owners of Planet G, that you enjoy indulging in frivolous conversation with very charming,and insanity charged cyber stalkers. At Planet G we try to provide a wholesome under-development of pituitary gland.

2) High livving no thinking- straight opposite of Gandhi

2006  
3) We at planet G, hyped up the concept of God 1.1, and then we introduced regional flavours like allah, Ram, Jesus etc. 

4) Lose an eye, lose a hand,
Lose everythin u signatured on,
But if u lose hope my darling,
The battle hasn't commenced at all


2007
5) Planet G............a wholesome entertainment venture that supplies energy to most of the Gobar Gas/bio gas plants in Netherlands, tunisia and west liberia. I'm sure most you dumb asses dont even know where these places are, which Is why i safely  publicized operations there!!!! 

2008

6) Christmas is  a Blessed Season of Love and Birth(ok u teenage girls and overcommitted lovers should not get other ideas)

2009 
7) Dude Don't sell ur car - RENT IT out as  service apartment......- u know - leather seats, music system, views on all 4 sides, 24 hours petrol and washer fluid, great proximity to all amenities - Depending on where u are parked.

8) what else - o i bought a ferrari - sold off my ranch in nevada for 12 million more than what i bought it for and taught monica belluci how to kiss better - other than that Sumam gave john abraham tips on hair care .

2010

9) So i figured,before I stare Normalcy in the face , by getting back to work , everyday life...........i wanted to touch base with you and find out how you were getting along. We may not talk much , but because of social evils such as facebook I can stalk you, in the guise of a friend.............(Georgi lets out his evil sinister yawn!!!!!!!).

2011
10 ) Scary that there is more to come eh.................... 

Monday, December 20, 2010

STATS - The week before Christmas



Omigod, I have been kidding myself this far. The google stats for this week on my page show that I have succeeded in obtaining readership in  10 countries.  Considering I know only three people who could only be at 1 place at a time, I am immensely honoured with this info.

Maybe I will get off writing creative junk or maybe just explore broader horizons. Someday this is all gonna come back and bite me!!!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Thankappan - Ek Bar aaja aaja

Grammy award nominee – Thankappan’s response on winning a grammy.

Reporter: Mr thankappan, how does it feel?
Thankappan : ONE
Reporter: sorry what?
Thankappan : ek bar
Reporter: ek bar what?
Thankappan : ek bar aaja ajaa
Reporter: sir did himesh steal that from you?
Thankappan: who’s himesh. I know only Jitesh.- my unGle’s AAnty’s cussin.
Reporter: As a MAL, how do you know so many languages
Thankappan: Learnt English from drinking English whisky and hindi from drinking desi tharra. Bar’s have taught me a lot. In fact my first poem was……..



Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,
Can u point me to the closest bar,
Up above that hill so high,
There’s a shack called Mai-tai.


Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,
Do you think they will take my card
After you drink, make sure they swipe
Or your candy ass will be used to wipe.

Twinkle twinkle hallo saar,
Any parting words at last?
Holidays ending, work’s not far
So  please don’t; misbehave at the bar

-          BEV. Da ( pen name for thankappan )


Ps: Guys, I just read this and seriously wonder how you reached till here without pressing the go back button on your browser. This is atrocious. If I were you I would report me to the cops or send me money? Choose.!!!! Season’s greetings…….hic!!! 
(c) Georgi Jose

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

101 Things I Didn’t Learn in Architecture School


Nobody's gonna read the whole thing - Shockingly i did.........for obvious reasons!!!!

ps: Thanks tamer, my zany lebanese urban designer and friend.....

Read........those of you who dare!!!! ha!!!!


The Indicator: 101 Things I Didn’t Learn in Architecture School

1] Even if your boss is your friend he may have to axe you to save his business.

2] Read the book, On Bullshit, by Harry G. Frankfurt. Carry it with you. It’s pocket-sized.

3] Do not drink at work and especially do not get toasted around your colleagues under any circumstances.

4] No matter how highly you may think of yourself you may still be a minion in the eyes of others who hold more power than you.

5] Once you leave architecture school not everybody cares about architecture or wants to talk about it.

6] All eating habits and diets acquired during school should be jettisoned.

7] The hygiene habits you kept in architecture school are inappropriate for real life; bathe regularly and change your underwear.

8] The rush and exhilaration you experience in studio may be inversely proportional to how much you will enjoy working for a firm.

9] It’s architecture, not medicine. You can take a break and no one will die.

10] Significant others are more important than architecture; they are the ones who will pull you through in the end. See 49.

11] Being smart and having advanced degrees can make you a better designer.

12] The industry underpays. Push for what you are worth.

13] Mind your internet traffic at work unless you are certain your office does not have someone monitoring. Of course you should be working every minute, so this goes without saying.

14] Go home to your family.

15] Call your loved one’s frequently.

16] If you are working overtime, the firm buys dinner.*
*Contingent on office policies, of course.

17] Don’t keep a mayline screwed to your desk. They are not cool and they date you. The same goes for colored pencils.

18] Get the biggest monitor you can.

19] Do not, however, ask for two monitors. Even though it makes you look like a bad-ass you will be expected to do twice the amount of work.

20] Make sure team roles are clearly defined.

21] Know what your role is.

22] Be careful with emails. If in doubt, don’t send.

23] At times respect and civility seem to be scarce commodities in architecture.

24] Be cautious of “opportunities” that do not pay.

25] Sometimes the most critical person on your jury might actually be right.

26] Understand how your office is run as a business and how they go after projects.

27] It is best to keep your outside activities quiet.

28] Your boss reads your blog.

29] Pyromania, car soccer, and other antics you made up to amuse yourself at 3 am are not actually normal. See 49.

30] There are no architectural emergencies that should make you completely give up your life on the outside. That may have been the ethos in studio, but don’t carry it into the office.

31] Be suspicious if your firm expects you to work long hours of overtime for no compensation. Be doubly suspicious if they justify it by saying things like, “It’s just part of the learning curve” or “We had to go through this, too.”

32] If a police officer pulls you over on the freeway for doing 90 mph on a Sunday morning while heading into the office, it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities.

33] Know who the decision-makers are.

34] Don’t dress like an intern. See 72.

35] Read Dana Cuff’s Architecture: The Story of Practice.

36] Expect to be regarded with suspicion if your undergraduate degree is not in architecture.

37] Don’t be seduced by mere appearances.

38] If your firm is outsourcing work to save money, be concerned.

39] Architecture firms can have multiple glass ceilings. Be aware of them all.

40] If a principal of a firm sees making coffee or moving boxes as beneath him/her, consider looking for another office.

41] If a principal doesn’t say good morning when you say good morning to him/her, consider looking for another office.

42] When firms advertise themselves as think tanks or research labs, ask them specifically what it is that they do. And most importantly, make sure they pay. Well.

43] If you are invited to be on a jury, don’t trash the student just to make yourself look good or to contradict a rival on the jury. Be constructive and try to help the student. This is the point.

44] Subvert the signature of the software, unless you consciously want the architecture to convey this signature.

45] Architects are in a service industry. They provide services to clients.

46] In proportion to their pay, architects require the most education, most training, and the most exams to become licensed professionals.

47] Don’t be a Typhoid Mary. When sick, stay home.

48] Embrace the business-side of architecture.

49] If you are an architect you should automatically qualify for psychotherapy and medication.

50] Most architects believe they were destined to become architects because of their early childhood experiences. They showed signs of architectural greatness at a very young age. This is a myth that reinforces an unhealthy hero complex. See 49.

51] Architecture in the academy is completely removed from the profession. Likewise, the values within the academy are radically different from the values within a firm.

52] Be cautious about applying theory to space.

53] Do not take design strategies or operations learned in studio too seriously.

54] Know the difference between architectural celebrity and actual worth.

55] Read books with words, not just pictures.

56] All firms are different. Shop.

57] To save time, assume your wife is right.

58] Do not date an architect unless you are certain he/she is able to maintain a healthy life outside of architecture. See 49.

59] Architects should not intermarry. Inbreeding is not good for the gene pool. See 49.

60] If you are married when you go to architecture school, studio ends at 7:00.

61] Do not buy into the fashion of the moment and simply dismiss certain architects without examining them for yourself.

62] Architects who do not build things also have important things to say and should be listened to.

63] If your studio instructor is a recent graduate, be alarmed.

64] Do not obsess about sustainability to the exclusion of other factors.

65] Renderings done in China are so last year.

66] If you start a think tank make sure you have some thoughts to put in it.

67] Read Rem Koolhaas, but do not obsess and fantasize about being him. Delirious New York is still relevant.

68] Archi-babble does not make you sound cool.

69] Keep in touch with everyone you know, especially if they aren’t in architecture.

70] In fact, make friends who are not architects.

71] Do not wear the same shoes every day, They will start to smell.

72] Make sure your jeans are up-to-date. No acid-wash. No baggy.

73] The economically distressed urban zones you can afford while in school are not gentrified just because you and your friends have moved in.

74] If you must read Italo Calvino, read more than just Invisible Cities.

75] Expect a period of post-traumatic stress disorder after you graduate. Do not make any important decisions during this time.

76] Don’t get a dog just because you are lonely.

77] Architecture is fueled by fetishes—rectilinear designer eyewear, for instance.

78] When trying to decide if a theory book is good, check the bibliography first.

79] Listen to your elders. They are wise.

80] FAIA can mean different things to different people.

81] If you already have a B.Arch, consider further education in a different field. Your M.Arch. can’t make a real contribution to the field if you’re just showing off software skills.

82] Always back up your hard drive.

83] Embrace social media, but don’t be its bitch. Only tweet/post when you have something important to say.

84] Architecture firms should consider forming economic alliances similar to OPEC.

85] Even if you don’t like the look of someone’s architecture they may have something valuable to teach you.

86] Great architecture, like great art, tends to arise from deep psychological issues. See 49.

87] The eighties and postmodernism were not all bad.

88] Being avant-garde is a choice that should be evaluated.

89] Architect’s web pages are often out of control and take too long to load.

90] In one’s life there are a finite number of all-nighters one can pull. You probably used them all up in school.

91] Understand the contexts from which modernism arose.

92] When the economy is good architects can rely on experience to run firms, but when the economy is bad they need advanced business skills they may not possess.

93] Architecture is dependent on boom and bust cycles.

94] Good design is not necessarily the most important factor in running a successful architecture firm.

95] Branding is important.

96] In a corporate firm, those at the top are not necessarily the best but they may have been there the longest.

97] Being good at software does not make you a good architect.

98] Architecture is cliquish.

99] Many architects do not live in houses designed by themselves or other architects.

100] Architecture office parking lots communicate success. There should be at least a couple high-end luxury cars. If there are a lot of beaters, be wary. If all cars are beaters, don’t go in.

101] Be concerned when you are too idle at work.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Daily G - October 2010


Georgi Jose, 30, loves the good life : 8 layer 600 count luxury hotel beds, rooftop chill out sessions, quests to find the horizon, travelling empty handed and getting his wife to do the same. His grotesque views on life have disgusted his fans as much as creating the maximum number of hits. Considered by many as the first online hangover remedy, the blog , website and horrendous pictures assure the first 64 words will amuse, confuse or defuse you as the case may be.( Note : photo withheld at request of parents and wife)

Fortunately, Being Indian and being grounded in Bahrain , have allowed copyright infringements, laundering, piracy to be mixed into his otherwise boring life. Rejected by the underworld for being too organized and ostracized by the architecture fraternity for convincing clients that building buildings was ruining the environment and affecting their fertility, Georgi has procrastinated on his plans for global domination and is now learning to find contentment and content in his run-of-the-mill-boring-5000cr –dream company.

His latest book “armchair entrepreneurs”- written by hand and binded with rice paste may be the world’s first organic book but is being recalled due to widespread . misuse

Our source at toiletpaper.com has found that the first 1 million sale was swift as owned up by a leading toilet tissue paper distributor, who claimed, that since most books were unread and illegible, the paper could be quickly reused after final touches such as eraser editing by exploited child labour in Myanmar. ( Editor’s note - Our correspondent was brutally assaulted for exposing himself during this story. His vocabulary of 8 words and rare psycho dyslexic condition is under investigation)

Our 400 page interview which actually only had 5 questions is being published in parts :

An excerpt on “ G’s must-not-leave-home-without – lest-I-have-to-drive back-55 kms accessories ( that bear his fingerprints) “ are

B****berry – G has adopted a B****berry into this family.To appear busy, organized , geeky and give out the humanitarian image. The 6 months old relationship is still going strong and has not succumbed to the racial profiling- such as B****berry and the White B****berry campaign.

Pathan Phone – This latest version of the P-phone is a relic designed by georgi in collaboration with Formula 1 greats, such as Michael, rauf, messi – All whose tyres may have ran over the P=phone in its good old avatar as a sony ericsson at the Bahrain F1 track in 2008. The phone’s appearance , battery life, reception and all main facilities suck, but he believes t helps to get noticed.

House Keys – His fear of parents secretly leaving the country in his absence or changing their identities dawned on him in childhood. Hence the efferevescent need to have keys.

Credit Card – He has 4 friends at Citibank right from the asst Tea Boy to CTO. …..Chief Tea Organiser. They supply him with compromised cards, hence the need to appear flashy and sport a different name and look every time he steps out. His latest credit card named Nrayanan Dawood Anthony – is blocked.

His infra red weighing scale – Helps to scan for obese people in a room, so he can out with them in order to look thinner.

Wedding Ring – reminds him of his beautiful wedding day and all the happiness , love and money his wife gave up to be with him. Her book-Marria_G-e is a best seller with newly weds and divorce lawyers, who believes the 2 year wedding chronicles is a brilliant work of fiction. . The CIA has launched a covert operation to rescue her from the organized syndicate only known as the MALS.

SBI Club Card- His SBI – Sanity-Becho-Idhar privilege voucher allows him a free pizza after every 10 visits to his alma mater, Mukkolakkal sanitorium.

***As a bonus for all our (3) readers - This original merchandise is now available for sale at limited counters at the uber-exclusive TALIBAN(K) store outlets at Afghanistan, Yemen ,Iraq and Washington DC. First 2 purchases will receive free copies of the Jihad for dummies handbook.



Credits -

Author: Georgi Jose
Interviewer : Georgi jose ( The alter ego of georgi Jose)
Editor – G
Photography – G
Makeup – o shit – forgot…next time.


Please note: The term (penile)erection is often referred to as wood. In the interest of the environment, Would you want to cut your penis everytime you had to print. Save the environment- Don’ print this. In fact don’t’ even circulate it, unless requested by judiciary for evidence or by coronary for cause of death.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

3 0.2 r o c k (s)

Well I’m turning/ I’ve turned 30. Relax I’m not going on a things you must do before you are 30.

As some of you may know, my birthday and my marriage share the same date. People blame it as a conniving way to forfeit expenses and a cheeky excuse to forgetting future Anniversaries.

Its been a fantastic 2 years with its share of highs and lows.
Just the past year, has been eventful with Ajay and Roshen tying the knot,
visiting SFO, Phoenix, Vegas, London,
seeing FLW, Libeskind, Gehry,
meeting the boys at LA,
Driving the Pacific Coast,,,,,,,(wopppeee)
understanding the Indian real estate scenario first hand with sale, purchase and remittances and the many loopholes,
sumam fighting the recession with an array of interesting jobs ,
the birth of 9one, the first show for 91 people,
the desibel rising phenomenon,
mum and dad taking more breaks for themselves and together,
negating the negative forces
lotta friends getting married this year,
changes in work profile, clearing off 2 personal loans,
inching towards financial security, (the myth)
and more importantly a small jump in my faith,

So well the way I look at it, its been a blessed year and considering that this life is a donation from the Lord almighty….I think I need to take charge and steer it in the direction that – “I think and he knows”
  • Thank you God for providing
  • Thank you Mom and Dad for being the executive Producers on this mega – reality show
  • Thanks Ajay for getting the ring to the altar in time………….
  • Thank you all siblings and friends for giving me a flashback that brings smiles year after year
  • Thank you sumam for bringing the “WE” into my WEEKENDS……….


30.2 ROCK (s)


signed this day 2nd August 2010

G

Monday, February 8, 2010

my 2010 - HI

Hi there,

I know its been ages and yes this is not a forward.There I go again appearing and disappearing on / off the radar like some genie.

I'm on the last leg of my holiday, which is the night before I start work and wanted to touch base with you , before getting lost in the corridors of cyberspace again.

As an update, I did hit the US and Uk, but it was more for my Brother - AJAY's wedding held at Phoenix, in the US on the 21st n 22nd of January,2010. Ajay , who i prefer to call a glorified keyboard player (see it sounds way better than saying he's in IT).......Coming back to the point - Ajay n Roshen (i.e my bhabhi) a lawyer, by God's grace had a bodaciously (Don't google it............I assure you there is no word like this......)fantastic wedding.
Well after the respective hush-hush bachelor and bachelorette parties at Vegas (hmmm......)...and the multi-faith weddings in both the catholic christian and the hindu iyengar rites, ajay and roshen were found marooning in a no-network zone in BALI.
Using this opportunity to re-construct a hypnotic version of a vacation I Abducted one of the bridesmaids sumam..........(oh......ok sh'es my wife, but abducting the bridesmaid was a more exciting version)...............Thence, sumam n I made the quickest possible dash from Arizona, through to San Francisco, the pacific coast highway (tres gorgeous) , down into LA before slam dunkin into Sumam's surprise birthday at Vegas (yes .............again!!!!!!!)
So after hitting the US and a brief stopver at London, I realised i may never be in an emotionally volatile state (.......no not emotional from the wedding.................but hypo-paranoid from the subsequent credit card bills) to type you a long personalised email anytime before next year.
So i figured,before I stare Normalcy in the face , by getting back to work , everyday life...........i wanted to touch base with you and find out how you were getting along. We may not talk much , but because of social evils such as facebook I can stalk you, in the guise of a friend.............(Georgi lets out his evil sinister yawn!!!!!!!).
So, I wanted to say i did think of you, and this is my bit to push the ferry across the bridge. Yuo may feel the need to reply if the dictionary to comprehend this gibberish if out of publication.
If not, Have a great year .............
Warmest regards,
G
ps: The annotation is only so that you don;t screw up my spelling..........come on.......Its' one letter..........>Can't be that difficult.........
ps2: Im still seemingly employed with ATKINS, as an architect based out of Bahrain. (www.atkinsdesign.com), as a Design junkie ....aka Architect, where they restrict me from ruining the world's skyline any further.
ps3: In case you're wondering , where this mail is going..........I wish at least one of us knows the answer to that.
ps4: Don't ask me why you weren't invited............Don;t ask me why I didn't call..............but hey I mailed you right.......So the score is georgi.....1, and you........well if you still aren't tempted to reply - ur score is zero.
ps5 - Design still underway by Sony....

Cheers
G
WEDDING PICS are on facebook........................................rest....well ..they're getting there

--
G E O R G I J O S E
a r c h i t e c t
bangalore | bahrain
www.georgijose.com
www.georgijose.blogspot.com (DONT READ)
bahrain hp: +973.390 50686
india hp: +91.98455 83439